yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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