I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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