Having a random hookup so left but love u
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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