She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize