Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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