my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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