I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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