I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize