Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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