You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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