Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize