well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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