the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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