Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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