I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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