i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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