I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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