I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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