You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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