We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize