Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize