I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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