i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize