he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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