Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize