There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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