I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
They have beer where we have blood.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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