Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
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and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think my moral compass just broke
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