...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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