New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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