then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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