I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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