I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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