I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
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If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
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I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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