woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize