Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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