so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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