is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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