Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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