Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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