I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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