How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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