I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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