I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Mom said you looked used
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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