And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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