I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I am available for nakedness
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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