My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize