Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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