i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I want a musical about memes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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