I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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